Quiet Chaos
by Gingerbread Nightmares
Summary: He had a strange feeling he was a ruined man as far as casual sex went. He can't do commitment, but he can't go without her. What can he do? BACK AT LAST!
1. In The Shadows of Night

1**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, I am far too poor for that. Though I do wish I could trap the hot boys of Gilmore Girls in my closet, but that'll just be between us.

**Author's Note:** So here it is, my not at all awaited first Gilmore Girls story. The rating is only temporary, I believe. Also, for a time frame, this story takes place around the time of Jews and Chinese Food and Pulp Friction (but probably without many specific mentions of events from those episodes and may go AU from there). Anything in 's are thoughts. Please please review so I know if I should crawl back into that hole I came from. And don't forget my cookie offer! Now, without further adieu, here it goes:

His room was completely dark except for the glow of his alarm clock. The girl on his lap writhed against him, kissing him with all she had. With his eyes closed, he could still see her, the baby blue eyes and brown hair spilling around them both as she bent down to kiss him. But when he opened his eyes, it was long blonde hair that spilled around him, and he came face to face with emerald green eyes. The shock and anger over the trick his mind just played on him caused him to recoil from her.

"What's the matter baby, need some encouragement?" came a husky voice, making it's attempt at being seductive. He kissed her again, trying hard to get lost in the moment, to forget who he was with so that he could let himself believe he was with _her_. It was too late though, the illusion had been shattered. He picked the girl off of his lap and stood up, walking to the door of his own room, hoping she would get the hint. When she proceeded to sit on the bed and act like she was waiting for him to return, he realized he was going to have to do this the verbal way. Sighing, he tried hard to remember her name. When it at last came to him, he spoke in the gentlest voice possible to avoid another confrontation that his roommates would make a fuss over.

"Sandra, I think it's best if you leave now. It's been fun and all, but I really have other things I should be concentrating on," he said quietly. She looked up at him perplexed.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her voice shaky with indignation.

"No, no, it's not that, really. I just... have other things to do right now. If I don't get them done, well there will be consequences for me. Maybe we could pick this up another time?" he tried, knowing he had no intention of calling her again and almost feeling guilty over it.

"Yeah, a 20 year old guy that has something more important that sex to do. I'm going to believe that one," she replied, now not even hiding her annoyance.

"Look, Sandra, I'm trying to be nice here, can you just go? I'll give you a call, we'll hook up later," his voice slowly getting louder and showing his own annoyance at her.

"Whatever, I'm gone." She got up from the bed and headed for the door. Just as she was next to him, she turned to look at him. "You know, Huntzberger, you are one sick bastard for playing these little minds games with every girl on campus." And with that, she walked out of the door, slamming it for him.

He sighed with a mixture of relief over her departure and annoyance with himself. She was right. The same thing had happened with the last 4 girls he had brought home with him. He had a strange feeling that he was a ruined man as far as casual sex went.

Looking at the clock, he realized it was only 10:30. If he got himself together quickly enough, maybe he could sneak over to her dorm and see what she was doing. He grabbed his coat and headed out the door, hoping that Colin and Finn weren't out in the living room to give him a hard time. He knew they had heard Sandra, along with the other 3 girls before her. And every time, they gave him _that _look, the one that said "What the hell is wrong with you? All of these girls are hot and willing". Only Colin had dared to ask about it, and even then, he carefully avoided _her_ name. Logan was lucky enough to find that they had steered clear of him and had probably already left.

As he walked to her room, an act that was now so memorized, it was subconscious (a fact that did not escape his notice either), he wondered if he really could do this. Could he really go to her after leaving the arms of another woman? Could he look into those piercing blue eyes and act as if he hadn't just tried to pretend that he had seen them with someone else? He didn't think he'd have the courage to do it, he felt unfaithful and that truly bothered him. He'd never felt obligated to one girl before in his life. It scared him even more than he would let himself know. But he also didn't think he had the courage _not _to go to her now. Before he realized it, he found himself at her door. With yet another sigh, this one of trepidation, he knocked on it. He heard giggling and shuffling behind her door, and wondered who else was with her. He could tell one of the voices was masculine, and he was surprised by a sudden pang of jealousy. As he was mentally beating himself for that jealousy thing, the door swung open and he was face to face with _her_.

"Logan? Wow, I didn't expect to see you tonight. I figured you for having some hot date or something. Marty and I are just watching movies, do you want to come in?" He could tell that she was trying to sound casual about the date comment. Now it was his turn to try to act casual about Marty being alone with her.

"Sure," he answered, taking off his leather coat and stepping in as she moved aside for him. "Anything I'd be interesting in watching?"

"Well, I've forced him to watch Willy Wonka with me. I wanted to go see the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with me, but he refused. Apparently he has an issue with Johnny Depp," Rory rambled at him. Logan could tell she was on a major sugar high by looking at the piles of candy and empty coffee cups on the table.

"I do not have an issue with Johnny Depp!" Marty tried to defend himself. "I just didn't feel like going to see yet another remake.

"Oh come on Marty, Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, together again! That's so not just a remake! That's a movie masterpiece!" Rory and Marty's banter was killing Logan, but he didn't know how to enter the conversation. Luckily for him, Rory chose this moment to include him.

"What do you think Logan? Is the new one worth it?" she asked as she sat on the couch next to Marty, leaving enough room for Logan to sit next to her.

"I'll tell you what Ace, you want to see the new one? I'll take you tomorrow," he said, feeling his confidence return to him.

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around!" she squealed at him and threw her arms around his neck as he sat next to her on the couch. Marty, obviously uncomfortable with the seating arrangement, got up and moved to the chair.

Yeah, that's right, this is my territory Logan thought as he put his arm around Rory's shoulders. Where did that come from?

"It's ok Marty, you're off the hook now. Now if you're lucky you'll only have to watch this Willy Wonka a few hundred more times," Rory told Marty playfully.

"Because the first 50 just aren't enough!" Marty acted excited and then laughed. Logan was once again not comfortable with how well Marty and Rory fell into their playful banter.

Soon enough though, Rory's head was on his shoulder and they were watching the movie in silence. He stole a glance at Marty to see that he seemed really uneasy. Three was a crowd after all. Within a half hour, Rory was fast asleep on his shoulder. He would never admit, under pain of death, that he loved to watch her sleep. The few mornings he had woken up next to her, most of all after the ones where they'd fallen asleep watching TV and not doing anything else, he watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She looked so perfect and peaceful while she slept, and deep down, he knew he wouldn't mind waking up next to her every morning.

"I think I'm going to take off, it's getting late," Marty broke the silence to say. He was trying to act like he was cool with Logan, but Logan could tell he wasn't really.

"Ok, well, I'll tell Rory you left. Later Marty," Logan said, making it clear that he wasn't leaving too (despite Marty's clear hope that he would). With that, Marty got up and walked out without another word.

Logan watched a little bit more of the movie before he nudged Rory awake. She yawned and looked up at him.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Only about 20 minutes. But you'll be sad to know you missed the Oompa Loompa dance," he teased.

"NO! What's wrong with you? Why didn't you wake me up?" she teased back, hitting his arm.

"Well, there's always rewind. Oh, and Marty left about 5 minutes ago. He said it was getting late," Logan told her.

"Oh, I'll just call him in the morning then," Rory said, but she didn't seem that disappointed about Marty's departure.

"Now, what time will we be going to that movie tomorrow?" Logan asked, finding himself hoping she was serious.

"Tomorrow's Friday so I've got dinner with the grandparents at 7, and I was going home to Stars Hollow with my mom afterwards," she told him.

"Oh... rain check then?" he tried to save himself quickly.

"No, no! I didn't mean we couldn't go. Why don't we just go earlier? My last class is over at 3 tomorrow, so we could go and then I'll go to my grandparent's," Rory suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," he told her, smiling his most charming smile at her. He noticed her eyes getting darker and he knew what that meant. He could feel his whole body tense as he waited. A girl had never done anything like this to him before, made him anticipate a kiss so much.

Logan's thoughts however, were cut short by Rory's lips landing on his own. It started off gentle but soon he deepened the kiss and pulled her into his lap. This time, he didn't have to imagine her beautiful brown hair falling around him as she landed on him, he didn't have to pretend to be looking up into her lusty blue eyes. Things quickly began heating up, as his lips left hers and began tracing her jaw and neck. Her eyes fluttered shut as she moaned and pushed herself into him. He loved doing this to her, making her need him like he needed her. He didn't mean it as a revenge thing, far from it. He wanted her to feel like he did when he was with her, happy, satisfied, complete...

When he suddenly felt her hands pushing under his shirt, all thoughts flew out of his head. His body took over all on its own. Raising his arms, his shirt soon hit the floor. Hers followed moments after. Placing his hand on the small of her back, he laid them down on the couch. He felt her reach for his belt and he knew it was time to move this affair to the bedroom. Picking her up, he moved towards the door, never detaching his lips from hers. Once inside her room, he kicked the door shut, finally able to finish what he started with a girl.

**Author's Note (2): **So I know it's been done before, but it's just a start. Let me know what you think. Thankies! And I'll be getting on those cookies right now!


	2. Sunshine With A Side Of Jealousy

1**Disclaimer:** You know the drill, it ain't mine. I just like to play with it a little. Is that so wrong?

**Author's Note:** Wow, thanks for the great reviews guys! I'm glad you like it. Just a few quick comments for you:

**_Rebel lover: _**Thanks for the tip about anonymous reviews. I didn't know I had it disabled so I'm glad you told me!

**_Ash-the-great: _**Thanks for the review! Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I was under the assumption that Rory had slept with Logan before they were "official" as a couple. I just kind of gathered that from a few of the comments that were made in some of the episodes (like when Lane told her in the bookstore that she already slept with two guys or something). Anyway, not trying to be mean or anything, I really did appreciate the review! Just wanted to let you know where I was coming from so that you could see why I thought it was believable. Thanks again!

And as for the story, just one quick note. For this chapter, let's just pretend that Marty doesn't know that Logan and Rory are sleeping together. He may know that there's something going on but let's just assume he doesn't realize it's gone that far. You'll see why I say this soon (I hope). Oh, and italics are thoughts. Now, once again, without further ado:

The early morning sun shone through the window, making her glow with a seemingly unnatural beauty. He once again watched her sleep. The chaos inside his brain had been temporarily quieted by the previous night. He was enjoying the peace inside his head, and using his free time to simply watch her. He knew, in this early morning state, that he was falling for her. He knew there was no turning back. He knew that soon, he'd want to spend the rest of his life with her. Of course, he also knew that in a few hours, all of these thoughts would be chalked up to post-coital insanity and never ever repeated to another soul. His silent vigil was interrupted by the sound of a sharp rapping on her outside door. He temporarily considered waking her up, but he figured even then she'd still be in no mood to answer the door. Anyway, from the sound of the knocking, it seemed like Paris had just forgotten her key again. He grabbed his pants and headed for the door quickly so as not to wake Rory.

As he walked to the door, he noticed an assortment of shirts lying on the floor. He figured he should probably pick his up at some point. Yawning and running a hand through his hair, he opened the door to come face to face with Marty's very shocked expression. _Well, that's certainly not Paris, he thought. _

"Logan?" Marty asked, still clearly in shock. _Apparently Rory has not told him about our extracurricular activities, he quipped to himself._

"Yeah, that's me. Can I help you?" he replied, slightly cranky from being yanked from his comfortable position next to Rory.

"Umm... yeah... I sort of... umm... left my coat here last night. Just looking for it because it's cold out," Marty stuttered out. Logan had a sneaking suspicion that this excuse wasn't the whole truth though. He was almost positive that Marty was checking up on Rory after leaving her alone with him last night.

"Well, do you want to come in and get it? Rory's still asleep and she doesn't have to be up for another half hour so I wasn't going to wake her," Logan informed him, also suddenly wondering when he had learned Rory's sleep schedule.

"Oh... well, she's normally up by now so I figured it would be ok. My first class is in 10 minutes."

"It's fine, why don't you just come get your coat then?" Logan told him, getting more annoyed by his presence almost every second. He stepped out of the doorway and let Marty through.

Logan watched Marty as he spotted Rory's and his shirts on the ground. The look of utter disappointment and jealousy gave Logan a sickening pang of satisfaction. When he reached the chair he had been sitting in the previous night, Marty quickly snatched his coat up from it, looking as if he was about to storm out. Just then, however, Rory's door creaked open. She exited the room in only Logan's undershirt and boxers. This was a custom he had grown semi-used to, seeing as she normally wore them when they woke up in the morning if they had been together the previous night. He didn't mind at all, he thought she looked more beautiful like that than any other way. Marty, however, did not seem to share his opinion. His face was one of nightmarish shock. Logan was slightly scared by the fact that Marty's face made him proud. What kind of man was Rory Gilmore turning him into?

Rory, however, was still oblivious to the whole scene playing out in front of her. It was early and she had not had her coffee yet, there was no way she could be coherent enough to realize what was going on. "Logan, I know you didn't run out on me because I'm wearing half your clothing, so where did you go?" she asked, before looking up to see Marty standing there with that horrid look on his face. "Oh... umm... hi Marty... what are you doing here?"

Marty tried to reply but all that came out was a sickened groan. Instead, he lifted his hand to indicate he came for his coat.

"Oh. I didn't even notice you'd left it, I'm sorry," she said, trying to seem casual. Logan made his way across the room to lean on the door frame next to her.

"I... I... I... have to...umm... get to class," Marty stammered out before he made a fast break for the door. He had closed the door (border lining on slamming it) before Rory could even get out "I'll call you later."

"Well, that was nice and awkward," Rory said, breaking the momentary silence.

"Yeah, I guess he didn't expect me to answer the door sans shirt," Logan quipped.

"Poor Marty..."

"Hey Ace, I'm not that revolting!" Logan teased.

"No... I mean, the other day, he told me that he liked me in more than a friends way. I shot him down but I didn't mean to rub my new relat... my sex life, in his face." Logan first noticed how Rory avoided the word relationship. He wasn't sure if this was for his benefit or hers. Then it hit him that she had just told him Marty had confessed his feelings for her. Half of him was filled with a smug satisfaction (and secret relief) that she had shot Marty down. The other half was teeming with jealousy. Both of these feelings had him completely baffled and in denial. He had to get away from her for a while, clear his head. She was turning him into... a boyfriend. _Oh god he thought, I need to be hit upside the head with a large shovel! I am not boyfriend material._

"Well, you and I both need to get ready for class, so since all my clean clothes are at my place, I think I should go," he said, suddenly wishing that maybe he didn't have to leave (even though just seconds ago, he was dying to get out of there).

"Considering I'm still wearing half you clothing, I suppose I'll go change. Be right back," she replied, before slinking into her room. _God she's gorgeous, he thought, as she walked away from him. _

Moments later, she returned, fully clothed and handed him his clothing as well. "So we still on for tonight?" she asked perkily.

Half of him still thought he needed to get away from her for a while before he was completely ruined for all other women. But looking at her smiling at him, he couldn't say no. He couldn't watch the happiness fall off that face.

"Of course. How does 3:30 sound?" he conceded.

"Perfect. You want to meet me here or at your dorm?"

"Come to my place, that way I can't go missing from ya," he joked.

"Ok, I'll be there. Now one more thing before you go."

"A kiss?" he teased.

"Well, I was going to go with clothes for you, but a kiss works too," she replied, smiling slyly. As he happily bent down to kiss her, he realized that she wasn't like this with anyone else. So forward and sexy. It was something she did just for him. It made him wonder if maybe that meant she was falling for him too. But he couldn't wish that upon her, could he? He couldn't do commitment after all, and he certainly didn't want to break her heart. His thoughts, however, once again fled when their lips made contact and he enjoyed a few moments of simple pleasure. He finally pulled away, knowing they had to stop before they got too caught up.

"Alright Ace, since that was such a winning kiss, let me get dressed and then we can go for coffee," he promised her.

"My knight in shining armor!" she cheered as he walked into her room to get changed.

A short time later, they were walking down the pathway to the coffee kiosk, chatting lightly about random nothings. His thoughts had quieted again. She had that effect on him, granting a temporary reprieve from his thoughts of her. Funny how the only thing that could stop the thoughts was the girl that caused them to begin with. Eventually they had their coffee and were to the point where they had to head their separate ways.

"Well, I shall see you at 3:30, dear knight," she bantered, finally perked up completely by the coffee.

"Alright, m'lady, until then," he returned, kissing her hand for dramatic effect.

"You just better be on time, mister, or you're getting downgraded to rusty armor!" She lightly slapped his arm and smiled up at him. Her sparkling blue eyes shone with excitement and happiness. Her smile made him feel like there was nothing on earth that he'd rather see. She soon turned away from him, however and was walking down the hall. He watched her walk with that perfect sway of hers. She truly was unlike any other girl he'd ever met.

_This girl is going to be the end of me._

**Author's Note (2):** Ok, so there it is, chapter 2. Like it, love it, despise it? Let me know! Oh, and I wasn't trying to be intentionally horrible to Marty in this chapter. I have nothing against him as a character but I needed to use him to display Logan's inner turmoil. Now remember, review for cookies!


	3. The Scene Is Set

1**Disclaimer:** Still not mine.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the great reviews. I'm glad you guys like it!

**_Purplemoon07: _**Thanks for reviewing twice. Keep tuning in!

Let me know if you guys have any suggestions for the story. And with no further notes this time around, here we go:

Logan walked back to his room, for once in a good mood. His plethora of thoughts had been quieted temporarily by the beautiful day and his lovely Ace. Little did he know that this good mood would soon be threatened by the likes of his friends.

"Well well well, if it isn't the illustrious Mr. Huntzberger?" Finn greeted as Logan walked through the door. He immediately sighed, knowing that he was just about to get hassled for his disappearing act.

"We were beginning to wonder if those girls hadn't rallied together to toss you in a lake somewhere," Colin informed him.

"No, thanks for the concern guys," Logan replied sarcastically, hoping they'd just let him go to his room now.

"Well, since you are still wearing the same clothes as last night, albeit, slightly more wrinkled, I'm guessing you didn't sneak back in. So do tell us, Mr. Huntzberger, where you departed to after you sent the delicious Miss Sandra away last night," Finn said as he leaned back on the couch crossing his arms. He already knew the answer to this question, Logan knew he did, and yet he sat there expectantly.

"Out." He wasn't going to say more. He didn't need to hear it from them.

"Oh do you hear that Finn? He was out. Hey, Logan, in case you forgot, we're at Yale! We could tell you went out. Where this out is, however, we would like to know," Colin interjected.

"And I have to tell you where I went why?" Logan was getting cross with them. His friends certainly pulled their fair share of disappearing acts, and he never questioned them on it.

"Because we are your friends. You share your sordid affairs with us," Colin tried, with a smile that said "Give it up already, we know where you were."

"I have no desire to share my sordid affairs, as you put it, with you today. So if you'll excuse me, I have a class to get to." He promptly tried to walk away but Finn stopped him with a look of actual confusion.

"Since when do you go to class?" he asked, still looking as confused as any drunken night he had.

"We go to Yale, remember?" he threw back at them, "I do occasionally partake in a class or two." With that, he really was leaving, making a beeline for his door.

"Hope you had a good time with 'Ace' last night," Colin shot in just before Logan slammed his door. Where did they get off questioning him like that? They were in college for god's sake! It was his prerogative to see any girl that he wanted. And that's just what he was doing, right? Seeing a few girls, having some fun. He was not falling in love. Guys like him didn't fall in love. They went through their college years having a constant string of random flings with gorgeous girls. Then when they went into the family business, they married their pretty little trophy wives and proceeded to create the next heir. They did not fall in love and feel the need to give up their entire world for one single girl. He really had to get her out of his mind.

Throughout the day, he went to a few classes and wandered the campus rather lost. Soon however, he ran into Joanna, one of the girls that preceded Sandra. He vaguely remembered her taking it better than Sandra did. She had swallowed his excuse whole and probably believed him when he said he'd call.

"There you are Logan. I've been waiting to hear from you," came her sultry voice. She too, like the rest of the girls, was beautiful (but not like _her _he silently added). She had long red hair and sparkling hazel eyes. Suddenly, it came to him while looking at her. If he could just forget _her _ for a little while, maybe this whole thing would be easier.

"Hey Joanna. I've just been busy lately. In fact, I was just about to call you when I got back to my dorm. But here you are in person, which is so much better, might I add," he told her as he turned on his charm. _Just this one fling, I can do it. I'm not committed to Rory, he told himself._

"Well then, why don't we just go back to that dorm of yours and pick up where we left off last time around," she suggested as she linked her arm through his. She really was beautiful.

"That works for me." He began leading her to his room, not even realizing what time it was. If he had only looked down at his watch at this exact moment, the entire fiasco he was about to cause could have been stopped. But instead, he took Joanna where she should never have been.

Getting to his dorm, he was lucky to find Colin and Finn had gone out. He vaguely wondered if they decided to do that class thing too. As he and Joanna headed toward his room, hand in hand, he tried to psyche himself into this encounter. _This isn't right, he thought, I shouldn't have to convince myself to have some fun with a perfectly capable and beautiful girl. _

Above the closing door of his room, the clock read 3:15. About five minutes later, Colin and Finn returned to the room and began watching some random television show, completely unaware of what was going on in Logan's room. The scene was set for the begriming of the end.


	4. Lovers End

1**Disclaimer:** Oh you know it's not mine by now, do you have to rub it in? The chapter title is not mine either, it's the title of a song by The Birthday Massacre

**Author's Note:** So two chapters in one day, I'm on a role. I have a few ideas bouncing around for the rest of the story, so I may ask opinions on them later. Now to end the cliffhanger:

He once again found himself in his dark room, trying to forget the girl that was not the one he was currently with. Red hair replaced the previously blonde hair, and for a brief while, he didn't have to pretend she was someone else. He was trying to allow himself to escape his thoughts, trying desperately to lose himself in this girl on top of him. But he couldn't, he felt guilty, almost dirty. Not only was he using Joanna, he was betraying Rory. As his inner chaos was raging on, he did not hear the knock on the door. He didn't hear Colin and Finn carrying on a conversation outside his door. In fact, he was completely oblivious as to what was about to happen to him.

Meanwhile, outside his door, Rory stood conversing with his so-called friends. "So Miss Gilmore, tell us, was our dodgy little Huntzbeger in your company last night," Finn asked her.

"Why Finn, I do think you are trying to get me to divulge your own best friends whereabouts. How very sneaky of you," Rory teased.

"Well, if he won't tell us, we must find someone who will?" Colin demanded in a playful voice.

"I guess you'll just have to stalk him then boys, because a true lady never tells. Now where is this Huntzberger of which we speak?" she asked, also oblivious as to what was about to happen.

"You could try his room, I suppose, if you are so tired of our company," Finn sighed.

"Oh poor Finn, I'm sure you are..." her sentence was stopped short by the scene in front of her. There was Logan, lying on the bed, shirtless, with a girl on top of him. She didn't know what to do, what to say.

Logan however, noticed the sudden intrusion of light into his dark room. He pushed Joanna aside, ready to berate either Colin or Finn for not knocking first. But instead he was met with the worst site he could ever see. Rory Gilmore was before him, tears threatening to spill from her gorgeous blue eyes. She looked betrayed, just as he feared she would. The site of her like that was heartbreaking. He wanted to rip his own heart out just to stop the pain it was causing him to see her like that. He tried to utter a sentence. He tried to say something, anything, to get her to not turn and run. But he couldn't get one out, he just sat there looking as guilty as he felt. So she whirled around, her long brown hair fanning out around her, and ran for the door. Not a word of anger, not a word of betrayal, just that look of utter and complete shock. Logan couldn't get it out of his head.

"Well what was that all about?" Joanna asked, it being her turn to be oblivious. She looked more annoyed by the interruption than anything.

Logan tried to say something to her too. He seemed to have lost all will or ability to speak. Just then though, Finn appeared in the doorway. Finally realizing the true magnitude of the situation, he did what any best friend would do.

"Lovely Joanna, I think it's time for your little play date with our friend Logan over here to come to a close. I would, however, be entirely willing to accompany you for the evening," Finn informed her. What could he do? He was a sucker for read heads.

"Thanks Finn but I guess I'll just be going now. Later Logan." And with that she got up and left. Logan had still not moved from his place on the bed. He felt like he was going to be sick. How could he do that to her? He knew what she was like, he knew that she couldn't handle the no strings type of relationship. For the first time in many years, Logan Huntzberger felt tears sting his eyes.

Finn just stood there for a while, looking at him sadly, before he too left him. He grabbed his shirt and made for the door. He had to find her. He had to do something. If he didn't, he had a feeling she would walk out of his life forever.

He walked straight through the living room, completely ignoring any comments Colin or Finn could have made. He didn't know what to do, what to say. He just had to see her. It all came crashing down on him as he almost ran toward her dorm. Who was he kidding? He was completely head over heels, ass backwards, can't live without you in love with her. He had been since the moment she first kissed him, a stunning image of androgyny. Every kiss they'd shared, every tender moment, played before him like some kind of movie montage. What had he done?

He found himself out her door, and he knocked before he could give it a second thought. There was no turning back now. But instead of being met by her tear stained face, he was instead met with Paris's stern, unflinching one.

"Go away Huntzberger, you've done enough damage for one day," she told him, slamming the door in his face before he had a chance to speak. He walked away in a stupor. There had to be a way to get to her. He walked around to her window, a moment of pure nostalgia hit him as he remembered that first night they had together when he climbed through this very window.

He knocked on the window, thinking of what to say. He had to beg her to forgive him, plead with her, apologize, do something. He had to gravel at her feet, show her the pain he felt for doing that to her. When her window cracked open, she simply stepped aside, letting him in. It was her silent sign of giving him a chance. He climbed in, preparing what to say.

But as he stood before her, looked at her, the pure hurt on her face rendered him speechless. What could he possibly say that would take that away? He crashed to his knees before her, a symbol of his submission. He hugged her legs, and for the first time since he could remember, he let go. He just cried. Soon, she was on the floor next to him. She tipped his head up to hers and kissed him. It physically hurt it was such a painful kiss. He had to do it again, he had to punish himself for doing this to her.

The world around them grew dim as they fell to the floor together. This time it wasn't about pleasure, about happiness, or fun. Every movement was one of sorrow and regret. It was his body silently begging for forgiveness from hers. Tears fell freely from both their faces as they moved together on her bedroom floor.

He woke up hours later to find himself still on her floor. She was looking down at him, propped up on one elbow. Her face was calm, reserved to the fate she had accepted for herself. He still tried to think of something to say. Not once had they uttered a word to each other since he climbed through that window. A million thoughts crashed around in his head. What did this mean? Were they together? Did she forgive him? If only he could find his voice, he'd swear off all women besides her forever. He'd give her the world just so she'd smile one more time.

"Logan..." she started, not knowing how to say what was about to come next.

"Rory... I..." he tried to speak but she cut him off by placing her finger over his lips.

"I know," she nodded as she told him. The sadness returned to her eyes, and fear rose in his chest.

"No... please... no" he shook his head, pleading, feeling fear rise now like bile in his throat.

"Logan, I have to. I tried to make you someone you weren't. It wasn't fair. But I looked at you that night at my grandparent's wedding, and I knew that I had to have you. I just wanted to be yours. You looked like everything I ever wanted sitting so casually at that table. I knew, even then, what I was getting myself into. And in one of the few times in my life, I went into something with my heart instead of my head. I love you Logan, but this can never work. You can't be who I need you to be, and it just hurts more to tease myself with the thought of having you. I will never have you completely, I know that now. I'm sorry," she told him, and she kissed him slowly.

"But then... what was this? Why?" he asked, struggling to come to grips with everything. He had to convince her he could be that guy. But as he was thinking all of this, she was getting herself dressed.

As she stood at her door, she looked back at him. "It was goodbye," she whispered before quietly walking out the door.


	5. Author's Note

Just wanted to let you guys know that this story WILL be updated. It is just on temporary hiatus. I should be posting the new chapter within the week. But to explain my absence:

First of all, I just got a job about a week ago and I've barely been home between going to work and hanging out with my friends. Being sucked into the real world also kind of made it hard to get myself in the right mindframe to write fiction.

Second of all, I accidently got myself out of the Rory/Logan mindframe (I watched too much of Jess damnit!). I couldn't really get myself to write a new chapter because I was in the wrong shipper! lol Good move on my part, wasn't it?

I also know how I want the next chapter to begin, and where I want to take it. However, the middle part is all fuzzy and in an effort to write it as best as possible, I'm taking my time. I don't want to have a chapter with a strong beginning and end and a crappy middle. I don't think anyone would want to read one like that either.

So basically, I just wanted to assure the people who have given me such great reviews that this story will be back. I promise. I just have to get myself together to write it. If you have any suggestions or ideas, I'd love to hear them. I'm always open to improvements. Who knows, somebody might even give me the perfect idea to make the chapter that I want. (This note will be deleted when I post the next chapter!) Thanks guys for the reviews and support!


	6. Hold Together

**Disclaimer:** I know I haven't updated in a few days, but it's not like I went out and bought the series.

**Author's Note:** So I disappeared for a few weeks. I've been busy with work and school. Sorry guys! Anyway, hopefully this chapter comes out like I want it to, so please tell me what you think. Also, I'm thinking of being completely horrible and throwing in a special return guest in the next chapter (which could change the entire outcome of the story). I want... no make that need... you to tell me if that's a good idea. (And I'm sure you already know who the special guest is, but if you don't see the author's note from before.) Now without further ado...

He lay on her floor, not wanting to move. He briefly contimplated just lying here until she returned. Logan wasn't going to give up. He didn't care what he had to do to get her to believe him. Now that he had finally realized how much he needed her, he wasn't going to let her go. But he also knew that just lying naked on her floor would get him nowhere fast. He had to get himself together and he had to find her. Goodbye just wasn't an option for him anymore.

Gathering up his clothes and getting dressed, he wondered if he should risk walking out the door or just go back out through the window. As much as he wanted to avoid speaking to her, he knew that Paris could probably tell him where to find Rory. That is, if he could convince her he was worthy of being told. Once again sighing, he exited Rory's room, only to find that Paris too had left. Apparently he was on his own for this one.

The last of his depression and sadness began to drain away on his walk back to the dorm. It was replaced by blind determination to prove to Rory he really loved her. He didn't care if he would never be able to touch another woman as long as he had her. Knowing full well that Colin and Finn were sitting on the other side of this door, he walked into his dorm. He didn't care if he had to face hell on earth to get past them, if it got him closer to her, he would do it.

"Huntzberger, you better have a damn good..." Colin began but when he saw the look on Logan's face, he cut himself short. Sure, he could be an ass and poke fun at Logan sometimes, but he was still his friend. And when your friends are in pain, you did what you could to help out.

"What happened mate?" Finn, who was slightly more clued in on the situation, asked.

"I went to see her. She... we... she's gone. I have to find her," Logan replied, trying to skip the gorey details. Of course he knew that he couldn't really get away with it but he had to try. Time was not on his side.

"You what? Talked? Fought? Ran around with turkey basters?" Colin asked, catching the 'we' in Logan's sentence.

"Yeah, mate, you have to tell us what happened here. We're dying to know."

"I went to apologize, try to promise her that it wouldn't happen again. I wanted to tell her I loved her. But the words wouldn't come out. Then we... we had... we were together. She told me it was goodbye. Now I have to find her." For the very first time, Logan was completely honest. He couldn't even bring himself to say that they had had sex, it seemed so informal, so unfitting for what they had shared.

"My suggestion mate: go to that little sleepy town of hers she's always talking about. It sounds like the place to hide from the bitter truths of love with the campus playboy," Finn suggested, letting him hear the disapproval of what he'd done to Rory in his voice. Finn knew his friend had crossed a line but he also knew he deserved a chance to redeem himself.

"Thanks Finn," was all Logan could muster before rushing into his room. A few minutes later, he exited the room and walked out the door without a word to his friends.

"Good luck, mate." Finn whispered as he watched the door close behind Logan. Getting the girl of your dreams is never easy.


End file.
